My come back years (2023/2024)
Two years of incredible personal growth and achievement
Three years ago, I would never have imagined I would be happy and thriving the way I am today. Three years ago I hit rock bottom when I gave birth to my daughter. Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to have my daughter, I wanted her more than anything. But the depression, anxiety and PTSD I developed after a very traumatic birth that almost cost my daughter’s life, left me numb. I struggled to connect with so much around me. Things I was once passionate about didn’t seem to interest me anymore. And even doing the smallest of things seemed like a struggle. I felt like I would never get my happy back. But I was wrong. Not only did I get my happy back, I have done so much more than I ever thought I could.
After publishing my book Navigating mommyhood in December 2022, I was itching to start writing another book. I already had the concept and all the chapters outlined by the beginning of 2023. All I needed was the courageous push to start writing the book. It took a friend of mine to shake some sense into me by reminding me that I had managed to write and publish a book while I was in the thick of postpartum depression, anxiety and PTSD. So she was sure I could write this book too now that I was slowly coming out of my melancholic and traumatic state. And she was right.
After getting tired of being in a melancholic state for quite a bit of time, I decided enough was enough. So in June 2023, I went back into the gym to work on my physical and mental wellbeing. I loved being back into my old stomping grounds. The sight of the workout machines and the weights got my body churning all the good feel hormones. It was like I never left. I slowly started to feel my body getting lighter, as if a weight has slid off my back when I was working out. I could feel the muscles around my jaw moving and stretching as my smile got wider. My skin got smoother, my energy levels increased and I got stronger. But the most important thing is that my confidence started to make a comeback.
The changes I saw pushed me to want to do more, to take on challenges I once did before my fall. So I signed up for the York 10K and the Yorkshire marathon (2023). At first I thought I was signing up for more than I could handle, but I convinced myself that if I did it before, I was capable of doing it again. Of course I wasn’t deluded to the fact that my body had now changed since giving birthing to my daughter, and the strength I once had then wasn’t the same as it was when I was training. So I worked hard at strength training and changed my diet massively. So to cut the long story short, I improved on my 10K by 10 minutes and shaved off 20 minutes on my previous marathon time. So hey, the hard work paid off after all.
Not only did running the York 10K and marathon strengthen my mental and physical health, it helped clear my mind to be able to write my second book. From there on, it was like a snowball effect of tackling so much more than I ever thought I could do. Because of my passion to improve maternal care at York hospital and within the UK, I went on to became a representative member for maternal and neonatal voices for York Hospital, I got selected as an interviewer for prospective student midwives for York University, I was selected as a United Nations Women’s UK CSW68 commission for women participant 2024, I published my second book; Woman Unleashed in July 2024, I was selected as an interviewer for York St Johns University for their prospective student midwives and the icing on the cake was that I took my daughter to Malawi in October to visit my family who I had not seen for nine years.
I have achieved a lot over the last two years, both on the personal and professional front. But my most noteworthy accolade is being a mother to my three year old daughter. She is the light of my life. She has changed my perspective on so many things in life. Let me make a confession though, I wasn’t sure I wanted to have children. Even after I got married, I was still ensure motherhood was the road I wanted to go down on. But when I experienced multiple miscarriages, I felt something within me, a loss I couldn’t explain. I also started to feel a yearning to carry a life which was now proving hard for me to keep in my womb for longer than three months. So when my pregnancy with my daughter progressed past three months, I desired to keep it. And I am glad I did.
I am ambitious and have always been since I can remember. I will always want to achieve greater things in my life, and I don’t hold myself back regardless of what society says about women who are ambitious. But the one thing I will always strive to be great at, is something that keeps me awake at night, that makes me cry more than anything, that makes me second guess my decisions at times and pushes me to be the best version of me that I can be, and that is being a mother to my daughter. Nothing can top that, ever!!