Silence of the mind is a rare commodity in the world we live in
And meditation has helped me preserve it
Before having my daughter, I could go about my day without thinking of how many things I had to do. The kind of thoughts that used to fill my mind were; “what I am going to eat today?”, “should I go to the gym or not?”, “what should I watch on TV today?”, “what restaurant should I go and eat at this weekend?”, “where should I go on holiday next?” etc. you get my drift.
But fast forward three and half years later, my mind is inundated with thoughts that range from; what my daughter will eat, doctor’s appointments, nursery activities, kids parties, swimming lessons, buy extra clothes, activities to keep her occupied on the weekend, if she has had a poop, get more fruit and veg in her, worried about her starting school in September, if she is making friends, her sleep schedule, if she is developing well and the list is endless. All of these thoughts are on top of the thoughts that have to do with my own life, keeping the household ticking along, keeping on top of my job at the hospital, keeping on top of all my freelance projects and the goings on of my marriage. With all of this to think about, there is never a time my mind is silent. It can be overwhelming, and it can and has at times caused a mental burn out. So after getting tired of constantly hearing my mind blurting out all this stuff, even in moments I had set aside for myself to rest, I decided to get back into meditation.
A few years back when I struggled with depression, my therapist urged me to take up meditation to help calm and silence my mind. She told me if I kept at it, I would reach to a level where even if I was in the midst of chaos, I would be able to tap into my meditation skills vault to help my mind avoid getting bogged down by the chaos around me. At first I was a bit hesitant because I didn’t consider myself the meditation type. I thought it was for happy go lucky hippies. But because I am open minded, I decided to give it a go and see if I could benefit from it.
The first sessions I attended were actually boring. I couldn’t get comfortable. I found the voice of the guide annoying, and I fell asleep a number of times. At one point, I contemplated quitting the class. But because I had already paid for a few sessions in advance, I told myself I had to grit my teeth and get through it. One time during one of the sessions, one of the participants could sense I wasn’t really getting into it. So he pulled me aside and gave me a really positive pep talk that really did the trick. Thanks to him, I slowly got into it, and must say I started to look forward to the class. And at the end of my paid sessions, I had mastered the art of silencing my mind. I went on to pay for extra sessions after that because not only was I benefiting from the sessions, but the herbal tea and nutritious snacks after the session were too good to miss out on. Plus I had made good friends who brightened up my life.
Fast forward to this day, meditation looks a bit different from the sessions I used to attend a few years ago. Instead of going to a paid session, I do it whenever and wherever I can. I sometimes wake up an hour earlier than my daughter does, I steal a few minutes here and there when I am working from home, at the gym after my workout session or in the steam room or sauna. I have once again trained my mind to shut out anything that has to do with my everyday grind of motherhood, work, marriage, home etc. Instead, I utilise the quiet moments to check in with myself, to focus on me and my wellbeing. I use the silence to hear myself, the good, the bad and the ugly. I focus on how I can be better for myself and those around me. The silence has now become my therapist. I now revel in my silence.
In a fast paced and sometimes chaotic world, I have come to appreciate the moments I am able to silence my mind and just be with myself. And I urge you to try it!