When sperm hits ovum
Life is never the same again
As a young girl, just like many of my friends, I had a doll, well, a collection of them that I played with. They were not just dolls to me, they were my babies. I would dress them up, cuddle them, sometimes took them in the bath with me and would put them to bed at the end of the day. I remember always telling my mum I would someday be a great mum. My mum always used to nod her head in agreement, but never forgot to tell me to concentrate on enjoying my childhood, and not concern myself with future motherly duties.
One day while sitting in my room, playing with my “babies”, my mother walked in and asked if I wanted a snack. I told her I didn’t need one at that moment, but would get one later after my play time. She patted me on my head and started to walk out of my room. I immediately sprang off from the floor and followed her because I had something I wanted to ask. She turned around, gave me a bewildered look and said; “what do you want to ask me this time?”.
From as young as I can recall, I was that child in our house that always had questions to ask. I was nosy. Okay, maybe nosy is not the right world. Let’s go with curious. I was a curious child. And because of my curiosity, I was never bored. I always found something to sink my mind into. Whether that was a book, a newspaper or watching a documentary on the discovery channel. I would like to think I was a regular kid. But looking back, I was not a regular kid. Anyway, let’s get back to the story.
As I stared at my mother, I could feel my brain and my mouth working in tandem. My brain was trying to put my thoughts together to form a question, while my mouth was trying to figure out the best way to ask the question. She looked at me again, but this time, she gestured for me to hurry up. Eventually my mouth synced up with my brain, and I opened my mouth. My question to my mother was; “is it true that when one day a sperm meets my egg in the womb it will result in a baby?”.
There was a silence between us for a few minutes as my mother tried to conjure up an appropriate answer. I could tell my question shocked her because her eyes looked like they would have popped out of their socket. I asked the question again just in case she had not heard me the first time round. But she immediately shushed me, and told me she had heard me alright. She eventually said it would be best for us to sit down later on and discuss the question in more detail because there was more to it than just a quick yes or no. I gave her a nod, indicating I was happy with that plan, and then scampered back to play with my “babies”.
As the days went by, and no time had been set by my mother for us to have our talk, I started to wonder if she was avoiding having the conversation with me. I thought perhaps I had asked an inappropriate question that was out of my age range to know. But I reminded myself that my parents always encouraged me to ask questions. They encouraged my inquisitive nature. So I decided to approach her and demand to have a talk before losing interest on the whole topic altogether. My attention span on one thing was not that great when I was young.
The day came when I decided to approach my mother. It was a rainy Sunday evening and my mother was in the kitchen preparing dinner. I sashayed my way in while whistling, with my hands clasped together. She saw me from the corner of her eye and I imagined she rolled her eyes. My mother has always said I was such a drama queen when I was a little girl. So the eye roll would be more like; “Oh here she goes with her antics again”. She turned around to face me, gave me a smile, and asked if I had come to help her make dinner. I knew I had to say yes so I could be in her good graces, which would in turn work in my favour to get an answer to my question. So not only was I curious, I was also a calculative child.
Before I could ask my question again, she gave me a knife and asked me to chop some onions. I sighed, but go on with it. She could sense my frustration from the way I was loudly banging the knife on the chopping board. She came over, squeezed my shoulders and said: “okay, I will put you out of your misery and answer your question”. My eyes immediately lit up as I waited eagerly for what she was about to say.
She started by telling me that babies are a gift from God, and she was thankful for all her children. However, a sperm hitting an ovum was more than just about a baby. It was so much more than that. It was an event with life changing consequences, more so for a woman than a man. Firstly, the body changes. The first trimester can see a woman throw up, lose appetite, feel nauseous, exhausted, weepy etc. And as the pregnancy progresses, breasts start to grow as the milk ducts prepare for the milk to flow through them. The nipples grow and become more defined. The organs start to shift as the belly grows to make room for the growing baby. Pelvic and back pain can at times be excruciating as the body stretches to accommodate the precious cargo. And comfortable sleep becomes a luxury.
Secondly, during birth, the labour can be short or long and painful. And it is also worth noting that things can also take a turn for the worse for either mother or baby, or both. Nothing is guaranteed when a baby is set to enter the world. But when the baby arrives, you can expect tears, smiles, a lot of love and a lot of other emotions, some which might not be pleasant. But all in all, arrival of a new born is a blessing, no matter how it was made.
Thirdly, the first few weeks can be bliss or petrifying. Baby blues can set in as hormones surge. Sleep once again becomes a luxury. You will constantly be in a cycle of feeding, burping, nappy changes, nap times, tummy times, shopping for baby stuff and so much more. In short, you will be living in babyville. Your home may at times look like a tornado has ripped through it because you might not always have the energy to tidy up. Your body will change, and you might either like it or hate it. Your relationship with your significant will change, that much I guarantee you. It’s survival will depend on how well you navigate your new normal together. Your job/career will take a pause or even change altogether. Your working life will now revolve around your children, whether you like it or not. Your finances will also change i.e. your pay and your pension. And this will all depend on how many hours you are able to work, which is dependant on you having childcare. Your friendships will change. You will lose some and gain some. And expect changes in your social life life too.
“So in short my dear daughter, a sperm hitting an ovum has the potential to change your life immensely”. Fast forward to now, my husband’s sperm hitting my ovum, conceiving a gorgeous baby girl in the process, really changed my life the way my mother said it would, and then some.