Writing can wait, motherhood takes centre stage now

My child needs me now more than ever

My little nugget has turned four! “Where has the time gone?”

There is never a dull moment with this little madam. I would characterise her personality as very colourful like a rainbow. And a rainbow she is. I conceived Ashley after suffering multiple miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy. That is why it was so befitting that the day we brought Ashley home from the hospital, there was a rainbow. God truly did his work by gifting me this little nugget.

Life has been busy the past few months. I have had a lot on in my job in the NHS, I have had a lot of freelance paid writing work, consulting work with a number of universities, a few personal projects that I am about to launch soon and sorting out school stuff for my daughter cause she starts school in September. All of this together with just keeping Ashley alive (she is a dare devil), making sure my home doesn’t like a tornado has swept through it and keeping myself sane enough to deal with all that has been on my plate lately. But after almost brushing shoulders with death (I was really poorly) over Easter time, I knew something had to give. I needed to take some thing or things off my plate to keep my health ticking along.

I have shared numerous times about my ambitious streak. I have always had a sense of wanting to succeed in all areas of my life since I was a young girl. But this streak, I believe has been heightened by my living here in the UK. I think because I am an immigrant from one of the poorest countries in the world, I feel I have to take advantage of the opportunities here that I would otherwise never get in my home country. Hence why I work like there is no tomorrow.

But after recovering from my near death illness, I knew I had to reframe my mentality, and being a mother was the one thing that kicked my behind to do so. I told myself I now had a little soul that was dependant on me for her survival. I mean, the way this little girl looks at me and hugs me tells me I am her whole world. And I know I am. She still cries for me every time I leave the house and throws herself at me with such glee when I get back home. In a nutshell, she lights up when she sees me whenever we have been apart. So I knew I had take a step back from some things.

Writing has been a passion of mine since I was a young girl. I have done my best to nurture it over the years to this point now where I am able to earn money from it. I have published two books, I have written for a few magazines and even collaborated with a few universities on some projects. But because writing requires time, and it has demanded a lot of my attention over the past few months, I decided to take a step back from taking on any paid work at least until my daughter is fully settled in school. I want to spend the next few months fully engaging with my daughter because I won’t have her at home with me once she starts school. Plus it is also a massive change for her from a small setting such as a nursery to a bigger school. And my little nugget is a a very sensitive little girl, so I want make sure she is emotionally ready for it. Currently, my daughter attends two full days in nursery and I stay home with her the other days.

Don’t get me wrong, I will still keep up with my writing work, including here on Substack, but I will not take on any paid work due to the pressure of having to keep up with deadlines. At least once she is in school, I will have more time on my hands to write more than I currently I’m able to.

So for the time being, I will just write for writing sake because it is a passion. It is important that I give my daughter all my attention before she’s off to school in September.